What’s the real cost of parenting? How much time do I spend managing the lives of those I’m responsible for?

For a long time I wondered “where does my day go?” I mean, I know that I spend a lot of time working and a lot of time parenting and a lot of time cleaning, but it still seems to slip away from me with seemingly little to show in the way of filled in checkboxes on my growing list of personal goals. So I decided to check how much time I spend parenting.

Thus, today (2009/06/18) I decided to write down all the little things I do as a responsible parent to see how much time it adds up to. Now mind you, I probably missed a few little things here and there and I am estimating much of the time sync, but I suspect it’s fairly accurate (at least within a 5-10% error rate).

Why did I pick today? Well, for a few reasons. One, I’m acting as a single parent today which I figured would make me look even more like a super-parent. Ok, I probably shouldn’t have admitted that. Also, it was a day I was going to try and get as much work in as I could as well (fortunately, I work from home). It was a beautiful summer day where there was no transportation requirements (adding trips to and from school is a huge time sink) and it was a day where I didn’t do many other house-hold tasks that would have been an even bigger time sink (laundry, vaccuuming, deep cleaning, napping, …). IE, the only two goals I had for the day were parenting and working. In that order.

Now mind you, I try to be a decent parent. There are two extreme views of parenting: let them fend for themselves (they know where the cereal is darn it, why are they bugging me) and complete micro-management (no, move that sock to the left side of your drawer). I try to balance nicely in the middle and be responsible but encouraging self-sufficiency when possible. I made them breakfast and ate with them to interact before I started working (more) and they made their own lunch while I made mine to teach independence.

The Tally

I thought one computer typed set of notes (when it was in front of me) and one piece of note paper would be enough. I underestimated that a bit.

The Results

How much time did I spend being a parent? It turns out to add up quickly:

Seconds: 8250
Minutes: 137.5
Hours: 2.29 (rounding up slightly, but I deserve it)

Now, before you jump in there and say I’m an uptight parent who just spent the day yelling at his kids, I have one important distinction to make about the results: That’s just the time I spent being a responsible parent. These are just the things I felt I “had to do” and there was no choice in the matter. That summary does not include the hour lunch I spent eating with my kids on a rock by a river and watching a butterfly land on my kids outstretched hands (which was really really cool). It doesn’t count the 30 minutes I spent playing sequence with them, or the game of pool I played with my daughter. I only counted the get-through-the-day time. Not the “Quality Family Time” time.

Conclusion

When I was a kid I learned that every essay should have a good introductory paragraph, and solid body and a conclusion. My conclusion from all this is that it takes a lot of time to be a parent. When I signed on to the job I knew it was a commitment that couldn’t be broken and a responsibility I would hold for life. But I’m not sure I truly understood the time sink. In the end, it’s still worth it, of course (the hugs and the laughter alone are worth it). But now I at least understand why I don’t get much accomplished in the other aspects of my life.

It’s my bed time now. Tomorrow it all begins again. Technically I’m being risky posting these totals before midnight.

Today we buy products and services. Then the products and services break. Invariably. If we’re lucky, we bought something that won’t break for a long time. If we’re less than lucky, it’ll break right after the warranty expires, as we all know.

That’s when the problems really begin. Not because the product broke, but rather because you have to get it serviced. And to get anything serviced now you need to talk to multiple people (or more likely recordings of multiple people), then wait multiple hours and frequently end up paying a significant amount. It’s the hours that add up more and are more painful than anything else.

• How long do you wait on the phone?
• How much time did you take waiting for the service technician to arrive?

Time, as my co-worker says, is our most valuable asset. We just wasted tons of it.

The problem is that we’re at their mercy. They have the knowledge and the tools. They have the power. To make you wait. We have only need (and hopefully enough money and time to pay for the need). If we choose to fight them when they give us a sliding 8 hour service window and then miss it, we again have to spend our time on the phone talking to multiple recordings only to loose the battle in the end. And wait.

We need to stop raging the battle against the companies on their playing field. But where is ours? The only option we have is to vote with our wallet. Change companies. Once one has left you speechless for the time they cost you, switch. Except that these days there are surprisingly few companies in important markets and they’re all equally as bad (go call all the cell phone companies for an example). Where do you go then?

Local services and business still offer the best service almost always. But for some reason, we’re not willing to pay the higher cost up front for the better long term care. Immediate gratification knowing we received the lowest price wins out more often than not.

Many rating sites exist for rating products.

Why is it that so very few exist for rating quality of service of a company?